I must have literally 400 plus international friends in my Whatsapp list from every country i have ever lived in or visited and made friends in, but never do i get sensational messages about any upcoming political event or any “Homemade” analysis about the current affairs. Trump came Trump won, no messages from America. Marine Le Pen came with a fascist agenda but no predictions from my French friends. England exited from the European Union, Cameron resigned, not a word from my British friends. Oil slumped to decades lows, GCC economies got ruined, yet absolute silence from my Arab friends. Dutch elections are coming up but not a single message predicting who is going to win and how or why.
Us Pakistanis are either absolutely “Wailay” or we feel that Whatsapp and FB was invented for us Pakistanis. 80% of us Pakistanis are in the business of ‘Forwarding” messages. And i love the way we qualify our lack of analytical abilities by admitting “Forwarded As Received”. Lol. No nation have i witnessed being more politically and conspiracy thought based nation then us Pakistanis. Everything relates to a conspiracy. Everybody’s uncle, aunt, good friend, neighbour, chacha ke phoophi ke betay ka damaad these days is connected to the judges of the Panama Case, thus having an “inside” view of the upcoming judgement. And god forbid if anyone of the people has one or two friends in our armed forces, he feels that its his right to predict An Army Coup” before the Panama verdict is announced.
“Abhi General Flaan Flaan se baat huwi thee woh keh rahay thay ke bus kal subha tak 111 Brigade PM house mein baithee hogi”… Allah ki pannah. And if they belong to Lahore, then predicting about the Shareef family fate is the number one priority. “Payaan meri gal ghor naal sunno, sadday driver de phoopo de puttar da susar jaira hai na, o Shahbaz Shareef de puyo de maamay da panjee saal pehlaan, hamsaaya see, o mainoo das reya see keh…..”
And ever since Whatsapp has come up with the call facilities, boy or boy, people have become Shelock Holmes running MI6 and ISI from their smart phones, “please call me on whatsapp, its something very serious…” Lol. Just because the call is on an encrypted line, do these people think that the conversation would be intelligent ? Kaash if we had spent this much time on reading and developing knowledge based opinions about the affairs of our own country, we would have progressed just as we have progressed and have become the most astute users of a technology based communication method called social media.
Then again probably not because my neighbour’s son in law whose uncle is a General and whose aunt is a Senator and whose driver’s sister’s carpenter was telling me that its a conspiracy of the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, that Pakistanis should not have a reading and thinking habit.
Should i Whatsapp you a detailed message about this conspiracy and mark it…”Forwarded As Received” ?